The Experts: T-Mike vs. The White Mamba
The Subject: Is Hannah Storm, Sportscenter’s AM host and Josh Elliot counterpart, hot? T-Mike will take the pro while The White Mamba takes the con. Game on gentlemen.
The Background: The Storm, who joined ESPN in 2008, had a lengthy career before coming to the Worldwide Leader. She was the first woman anchor to ever host CNN Sports Tonight in 1989, then went to NBC Sports until 2002 when she switched to CBS to host The Early Show. She currently is the 19th ranked SCA, and falls into The Robert Flores-like trap of trying too hard to be funny during the show when she clearly is not funny. She is nicer to look at than any of the other guys on SC like Josh Elliot or John Buccigross or Chris McKendry. So, is The Storm hot or not?
T-Mike: Being that 99 percent of sports watchers are dudes (not based on historical data), sports programming took a step before the turn of this century when they added attractive sideline reporters to give us updates on news, injuries, and whatever else we needed. Anyone remember the days of Jill Arrington and Melissa Stark?
Where is the love for Hannah Storm? Sure, she’s not one of the best anchors, but she does a good enough job while providing the appropriate eye candy to the rest of us guys. How many of you realize that she finished third to Arrington and Stark respectively in the Playboy 2001 poll asking us who we wanted to see in the magazine (Arrington turned down the $1 million dollar offer from the Hef)?
Hannah Storm is a hot 47 year old PTA mom – and she only got hotter as time went on. She aged well like a fine wine. I can only hope that my (future) wife looks that good at that age. And yeah, I know she looks like she’s 75 pounds; better than being 75 pounds overweight like Holly Rowe. And she doesn’t look like she’s M. Night Shamalyan’s twin brother turned sex change (HELLLLLO CINDY BRUNSON!). My only gripe is that I’ve got to make sure Hannah quits removing the fabric from my grandmother’s couches and passing them off as her own wardrobe. Other than that, she’s the running mate to Erin Andrews presidency.
This one’s to you, Hannah. Keep up the hot mom look.
The White Mamba: “The camera adds 10 pounds.” This is what you always here about people who are on TV. Being on camera makes you look 10 pounds heavier than you actually are. This would mean that Hannah Storm is pushing about 60 pounds soaking wet (and Sage Steele might actually just be a cardboard cut-out). I’m sorry Hannah but there is no reason you can’t sneak into Chris Berman’s dressing room and take something off the buffet spread he makes his servants keep fully stocked. There’s strike one.
Strike two: Hannah Storm is only hot relative to her environment. Kind of like if she was in the army or the WNBA. But just because I’m used to looking at Kevin Neghandi all day doesn’t mean I will have a tainted perception of how hot The Storm actually is. She is 47 years old, she has really good posture (which can never be trusted), and she looks better now than she did when she was 30. Strikes three, four, and five. Put her in a lineup next to Erin Andrews, Rachel Nichols, Wendi Nix, Suzy Kolber, and Mike Greenberg and she would come in last everytime. Unless you are into the whole Hillary Swank thing, I don’t find much reason to think The Storm is anything more than another female anchor. Next to a goddess like EA, she disappears. Next to Josh Elliot, she’s not half bad. Unfortunately that’s not enough to claim “hot” status. Sorry T-Mike, and sorry Hannah, but no dice.
For the second straight week, Scott Van Pelt tops the Anchor Rankings by a healthy margin. Despite butchering John Arne Riise’s name in a Norwegian Futbol highlight right before the release of this week’s rankings, SVP delivered another flawless week of highlights, increasing his Highlight Percentage and his VORA (Value Over Replacement Anchor). The Pelt is getting into The Pujols Zone, with an almost consensus #1 ranking from The Experts. There is some speculation on whether SVP’s performance is all-natural, and it’s a shame with the state of the game right now that we can’t be sure he’s not being enhanced in some unnatural way. Either way, SVP is at the top of his game right now, and he leads off this week’s Rankings.
1. Scott Van Pelt SCAR: 0.95076 Last Week: 1
2. John Anderson SCAR: 0.84091 Last Week: 3 (+1)
3. Neil Everett SCAR: 0.83712 Last Week: 2 (-1)
4. Mike Greenberg SCAR: 0.77273 Last Week: 5 (+1)
5. Stuart Scott SCAR: 0.72727 Last Week: 4 (-1)
6. Brian Kenny SCAR: 0.71970 Last Week: 6
7. Matt Winer SCAR: 0.67045 Last Week: 10 (+3)
Winer moved up three spots last week to solidify himself in the top 10. His consistency and Highlight Percentage are among the best, and he has been getting a lot more PT in the last couple weeks. This Misssouri Tiger who joined ESPN in 2001 is usually known for his gig hosting NBA Fastbreak, but he’s now busy making a name for himself as a top anchor.
8. Steve Levy SCAR: 0.66667 Last Week: 8
9. Rece Davis SCAR: 0.65530 Last Week: 11 (+2)
10. Jay Harris SCAR: 0.65151 Last Week: 9 (-1)
11. John Buccigross SCAR: 0.64015 Last Week: 14 (+3)
John Buccigross made a move last week as well, shooting up three spots to #11. Bucc is representing the old guard on SC, as this is his 13th year at ESPN. Originally an ESPNNews anchor and host of the now defunct NHL2Night, Bucc is making a comeback on the big show this year. Not all of his jokes hit quite as easily as some other SCAs, but the effort and accuracy is always there.
12. Stan Verrett SCAR: 0.63636 Last Week: 7 (-5)
13. Trey Wingo SCAR: 0.60227 Last Week: 12 (-1)
14. Linda Cohn SCAR: 0.57196 Last Week: 13 (-1)
15. Karl Ravech SCAR: 0.52652 Last Week: 15
16. Steve Berthiuame SCAR: 0.47727 Last Week: 16
17. Josh Elliot SCAR: 0.43940 Last Week: 21 (+5)
The biggest mover of the week is Sportscenter AM host Josh Elliot, who jumped five spots to #17. It’s taken America and The Experts a while to warm to Josh, but his arrogant undertones and pisspoor give and take with The Storm have been dwindling of late, and his knowledge and ability has been able to show through. Seemingly the biggest futbol fan of all the SCAs, it’s a nice touch to have a little extra knowledge in a usually dense world of SC futbol highlights. Josh still has a long way to go, but all the tools are there. If he figures it out, the top ten is not out of the question.
18. David Lloyd SCAR: 0.43561 Last Week: 17 (-1)
19. Hannah Storm SCAR: o.41667 Last Week: 18 (-1)
20. Chris McKendry SCAR: 0.39015 Last Week: 22 (+2)
21. Michael Kim SCAR: 0.38636 Last Week: 19 (-2)
22. Dari Nowkah SCAR: 0.36742 Last Week: 24 (+2)
23. Steve Bunin SCAR: 0.36363 Last Week: 25 (+2)
24. Jonathan Coachman SCAR: 0.35985 Last Week: 20 (-4)
25. Kevin Neghandi SCAR: 0.35606 Last Week: 23 (-2)
*Others recieving votes: Sage Steele 0.31439, Michelle Bonner 0.29167, Robert Flores 0.25758, Cindy Brunson 0.23106
Yesterday was a birthday of sorts for SC, as the daytime portion of the show celebrated it’s one-year anniversary. Originally aired on August 11, 2008, the daytime edition runs from 9am-12pm and has given us the not-so-dynamic duos of Storm-Elliot and Flores-Steele. Every once and a while we even get a Superhero-sounding, female empowerment tandem of Storm and Steele; luckily those occasions are few and far between.
Lack of charisma and painfully awkward Robert Flores jokes aside, the simple revelation of Daytime Sportscenter has been a blessing in disguise. When ESPN was attempting to crack the morning show market, we were forced to endure a gauntlet of Kit Hoover, Thea Andrews, Leslie Maxie, Dana Jacobsen, and of course the wonderful Skip Bayless on Cold Pizza, which evolved into First Take. Both are completely useless when you could show a perfectly good episode of SC. ESPN figured this out and we now get three more hours of highlights, despite having the 18th, 21st, 27th, and 28th ranked anchors.
Happy B-Day Daytime SC. Keep on…keep truckin.
After an intense preseason process, hours of research, and putting all the numbers into the system, Scott Van Pelt came out well on top of our first official SCA Rankings. Here is how the first enstallment shook out, including a little bit about the #1 Sportscenter Anchor:
1. Scott Van Pelt SCAR: 0.94175
Standing at 6’6”, SVP literally towers over the rest of his SCA competition, and proved his vertical and highlight prowess by sweeping our expert’s first place votes and putting .13 SCAR Points between himself and second place. SVP’s charisma and creativity has finally been recognized as he has clearly established himself as one of ESPN’s newest renaissance men. A gig with Mike Tirico has turned into The Scott Van Pelt Show, which debuted two weeks ago and is currently doing the radio/tv split a la Mike and Mike.
SVP is incredibly consistent with his highlights, and his effortless enjoyment translates into an entertaining Sportscenter no matter who he is working with. He posesses the qualities of many of the greats, and has put his name in the conversation with the likes of Craig Kilborn, Keith Olberman, Chris Berman, and Dan Patrick.
His friendship with Eldrich Tiger Woods has been parlayed into a gig on Tiger 2010, and his crossover success should continue to grow. As good as he has gotten, he comes in at #1 because of his ability to still come across as a down to earth guy. For all the praise we’ve given SVP, if you haven’t ever heard the legendary voice mail he once left a lost love, I suggest you check it out here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5a4p3x091A). Enjoy.
2. Neil Everett SCAR: 0.81068
3. John Anderson SCAR: 0.79612
4. Stuart Scott SCAR: 0.77184
5. Mike Greenberg SCAR: 0.75243
6. Brian Kenny SCAR: 0.70875
7. Stan Verrett SCAR: 0.70874
8. Steve Levy SCAR: 0.65535
9. Jay Harris SCAR: 0.65534
10. Matt Winer SCAR: 0.64563
11. Rece Davis SCAR: 0.63107
12. Trey Wingo SCAR: 0.60680
13. Linda Cohn SCAR: 0.59709
14. John Buccigros SCAR: 0.56796
15. Karl Ravech SCAR: 0.53398
16. Steve Berthiuame SCAR: 0.45631
17. David Lloyd SCAR: 0.44175
18. Hannah Storm SCAR: o.44174
19. Michael Kim SCAR: 0.41263
20. Jonathan Coachman SCAR: 0.41262
21. Josh Elliot SCAR: 0.40777
22. Chris McKendry SCAR: 0.39806
23. Kevin Neghandi SCAR: 0.39320
24. Dari Nowkah SCAR: 0.38835
25. Steve Bunin SCAR: 0.38349
*Others recieving votes: Michelle Bonner 0.34467, Sage Steele 0.32524, Robert Flores 0.29126, Cindy Brunson 0.26214